The One Blog To Rule Them All

To one and all

Rejoice! For the shadow that seems to fold us within its cloak is but a fleeting shade, and soon it shall become clear to all men of clear sight that the author of this letter has spent nigh on a fortnight reading lord of the rings, and it is to be hoped that this will affect not his writing style. Fear not the long-winded paragraphs of scenery, though all the massed flags of Scotland, Ghana and Vietnam stand before him on a field of magnolia, and in pride of place at their centre: a wood clad mirror set high in front of the writer to give him that perfect view as he raises his eyes to look upon what is reflected… the ceiling.

Honestly, I’m just glad I got the audio book because there is no way I could have pushed through some of those descriptions. As it is, my head is spinning with words like “verily” and I am struggling to remember how to structure a sentence without referencing a myth, the landscape, a family tree or laying some doom upon thee. Please don’t misunderstand me, I really enjoyed it, I just wish that certain country pubs would read different books before writing their menus, I don’t always need to know that a sausage came from the son of Salami-the-Great, who fed the armies of Sherborne before the battle of Beer Hackett, nor do I wish to hear the ancient elven heritage of the tree that bore the apples for my apple juice, regardless of the dell, shire, rill or fumarole from whence it came.

In fact I think my timing may well have been perfect, as the hobbits endured desperate thirst while slowly crawling into the fire chambers of Mordor I was able to empathise with them as I to was laid low by the heat. I have not experienced this kind of persistent heat since Ghana where at least it was a dry heat. Of course, it always takes a day or so to write, spell-check and spell-check again, so by the time you are reading this we will probably have thunder storms and be dreaming of the golden sunshine that did shed its light upon the up turned up faces of… sorry, I think I need to read a Jack Reacher novel just to stamp out the poetic Metaphors.

Talking of wondrous poetry and great songs from long ago, I saw recently that the makers of Eurovision have signed a deal to make an American version. I really don’t know how I feel about that, it could be quite good or it could easily be a total and utter disaster. Then again, I think that pretty much sums up the Eurovision song contest perfectly.

I hope you have poetic metaphors floating through your head and are feeling hope for the future, even if it does include Americans actively trying to be even more ridiculous and flamboyant than the Europeans.

Love and best wishes

Richard

Richard Wheatley BSC BPBh

P.S.

I’ve had my own radio show on Riverside Radio since the start of the year. Due to lockdown I have been pre-recording them since March. As I have to record them all and edit them down I have decided to start releasing them as a podcast.

‘The Friday Week’ is a light-hearted quiz on the news of the week and can be found on a number of podcast platforms including google podcasts and Spotify. We aren’t on Apple Podcasts yet but hopefully we will be there in the next week or two. If you can find it, please like, share and subscribe, it really helps.

Leave a Reply