To all those united in distancing
Well, what a weekend it has been, the public houses are open again and it is the civic duty of every right-thinking Brit to do his/her/their bit for the hospitality sector. I, for example, am writing this from the pub with half a lager and a packet of crisps…… obviously by “the pub” I actually mean my bedroom, “half of lager” I am referring to a 440ML can of Fosters, and by “a” I mean several. The crisps, on the other hand, are the remnants of a rather nice packet of truffle flavoured Kettle crisps that were a pre-lockdown family treat but now a post lockdown essential. I have always believed the pub to be more of a state of mind than a specific location, a conviction reinforced by literally a million pub quizzes played over the internet. (If you disagree with my use of the word literally, please see the OED changes from September 2011 to include colloquial uses, a literal eight months after a certain aspiring young blogger wrote an essay in a GCSE English exam about flagrant misuses of the word. Proving that even if they only give you a C for the exam they are still paying attention and will take action even if it is only to spite you! But I’m over that now… literally.)
This was also the weekend that the diet was due to start, apart from the amazing cookie dough balls I made myself… and I was allowed seconds of my sisters amazing herb-fried potatoes made from our home grown Maris pipers… and we had to get rid of the cream in the fridge so our Mother made a chocolate ganash to go with the ice-cream left over from our Italian fortnight… then my brother showed up with half a giant Mississippi mud pie which was amazing, all of which made me feel les guilty about all the beer I drank during the quizzes. I think I may genuinely have started the see-food diet in which I eat all food that someone near me can see.
Talking of food, I was eating lunch today while my father watched an online seminar about tax codes or probate or something equally soporific. it seems the lecturer knew exactly what affect her subject matter would have on any sane viewer, so part way through her dog made a sudden appearance loud enough to make me jump from the other end of the room, despite wearing headphones, let alone any drowsy team managers who may have been making use of their comfortable office bed and work pyjamas to help the lecture just fly past. I assumed it was an honest mistake until my father pointed out that the seminar was pre-recorded. I’m now considering inserting barks into my Riverside radio show, randomly added into the background like a canine Where’s Wally.
I hope you can all find your own methods for both helping the time fly by and staying awake, and I look forward to visiting a pub near you soon.
With love and best wishes
Richard
Richard Wheatley BSc BPBH
PS
Talking of pubs and food, last Thursday was my choice for treat night. I got sticky pork ribs, barbecue chicken wings and cheesy garlic bread. Some things just aren’t worth the ridiculous number of calories they contain… these were worth every last one. ☺