To all those united in isolation
Well we’re settling in nicely for the long haul on this isolation lark. The main topic of conversation after Boris’s big bunker briefing two weeks ago was, how best to exercise in isolation, a matter settled by my mother who bought herself a mothers’ day present in the form of a stationary bike which is now set up in the garden. This is a move that made sense yesterday, golden sunshine drenching every window in the house with warmth and vitamin-D, but for the rest of April it seems we may have a device that masterfully combines the exhilaration of motion from a gym bike with all the protection from the elements of the Tour De Yorkshire. Since the alternative is jogging on the spot, [very quietly so as not to disturb those working or sleeping], I can’t complain… much. In fact, I am now planning for the long bike ride on the 26th April, when I was due to run the London marathon. I have done the calculations, I try to run with a cadence of 180 steps per minute, when I was regularly training for the marathon my average pace was about 11 Kph, this means it would have taken me about 41400 steps to complete the London marathon, since one full cycle on the exercise bike is equivalent to two strides, I am planning to complete a bike ride of 20700 pedal revolutions. The only fly in the ointment is, my first ride of 45 minutes left me wincing every time I sat down, I now have 3 weeks to prepare for a three and a half hour marathon attempt, I might need a bigger cushion.
Back to the small scrap of earth and patchy grass that we have always generously described as a garden and that we now refer to as “the outside world”, rolling vistas of nature that stretch as far as the eye can see! Well as far as my eye can see… my right eye to be precise, which is blinder than my left. We have a little bird bath and two bird feeders so I am now wondering, since we have been so generous to the birds, can we train them to run errands for us? Collect our take-away orders for us? Pick up basic groceries from Sainsbury’s? Steal loo roll from the neighbouring houses? Perhaps if I promise to give them a biscuit next time I bake, or more likely, if I promise not to give them one of my patented millionaire-in-liquidation shortbread with the miracle caramel that never sets.
All that said, our garden has a more important purpose coming. As a family we have decided to take the whole blitz spirit idea and run with it, so we’re going full “dig for Britain!” deliveries of tomatoes, strawberries and all sorts of other plant life are due to arrive in the coming weeks. Each delivery has been scheduled for the optimal moment for that seed to be planted.
So with a red face from the bike and green fingers from the gardening, I wish you all the best and hope to see you soon.
Richard
Richard Wheatley BSc BPBH