the email flood

To all those currently Isolating for their own safety, or the safety of their family

In these days of social distancing and in some cases social isolation, it is crucial that we keep communicating, for our own sanity if nothing else. WhatsApp groups have started springing up, my phone is being used as an actual telephone for the first time in years and every business with whom I have shared my email address in the last five years wants to tell me about their contingency plans. The Hurlingham club has informed its members that opening hours have been reduced and many indoor facilities have closed to accommodate distancing, I recently got a nectar card so Sainsbury’s emailed with their measured request that I stop buying loo role while IPage, the company who host my website, felt I needed to know how they are keeping me safe from the, [so far entirely biological], virus. However, my most interesting emails to date have been from the naked marshmallow company. What measures they are taking, along with details of how the naked marshmallow company got my email address, I shall leave to your own over active imagination, adding only that my only purchase so far was a Christmas present for a lady.

As a family, our favourite update so far is one received by my mother from the Wine Society, thanking their customers for turning to them at this time. It seems we are not the only family with our panic-buying priorities in order! Since alcohol kills the virus it seems logical to stock-pile some decent vintages and, if nothing else, the bottle necks make perfect emergency loo role holders.

I hope you do not mind my adding to your over crowded inbox, my skills are all social and revolve around entertaining people, so this is my way of helping out from my own isolation. This is my small contribution to the blitz spirit that is the genetically British response to adversity.

I hope you are holding up as well as I am and that I will see you soon.

Yours with all the best wishes

Richard

Richard Wheatley BSc BPBH

PS

Since first drafting this we have received an absolute corker of an email from BA, wishing my parents a happy flight back to the UK from their weekend in Rome; a weekend that BA themselves had cancelled. Classic Mega Corporation.☺

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